Things I could do to improve myself.

I have always had an issue with my self esteem so obviously I want to improve a lot in this area...  I have always felt that I was over- weight (even when I was younger and not technically over-weight) and that I was not as pretty as other girls.  While my husband tells me daily that I am beautiful I do not feel that I am.  I have gained a lot of weight over the years and wish to loose it.  I don't wish to be skinny but I do want to be healthier.  I want to be able to run and play with my kids without getting winded.  I would love to run in a charity obstacle race like the dirty girl run or the warrior run.  I really hope some day that I am able to.  I want to eat healthy and set a good healthy example for my children. 

I want to be able to improve my mental health.  In 2004 I was diagnosed with bipolar and was placed on medicine to control my mood swings for about 2 years.  When I left my ex-husband I was able to control things (my emotions, reactions, etc) better and wanted to try to live life without the medicine (which made me like a zombie).  I can proudly say even with my ex-husbands ridiculous behavior with/towards myself and our children I have been able to live without medicine since early 2007.  While I do have some manic issues occasionally I have done very well.  I want to learn some more techniques in how to control these few manic outburst that remain.  

I have always been a caring and giving person but I always feel like there is more that I could do.  I do not have money to donate but I do have time and skills I could give.  I plan to improve this and I want to include my entire family.  I want to take my kids to volunteer at a soup kitchen or to help in some sort of charity event.  My older children Hailey and Josh have been involved with the make a wish foundation with Dickey school but it is part of a competition (the person who donates the most gets to be conductor of their polar express), I want them to know what it feels like to donate without getting anything but the amazing feeling of helping someone in return.  I want to make the world a better place for the future generation!  

There are many things I would like to change about myself I just have to find the will power and get off my but to do it.  I want to start dieting and exercising soon.  I NEED to get healthy, please wish me luck!